Title: Luck By Chance

Director: Zoya Akhtar

Starring: Rishi Kapoor, Juhi Chawla, Hrithik Roshan, Konkona Sen Sharma (Koko), Farhaan Akhtar, Dimple Kapadia, Isha Sharvani, Sanjay Kapoor

Describe the movie in one word - ZoyaWentGoaAndWroteTrashyScriptAndTriedMakingItLookGoodBYCastingGoodActorsHeHeHe!

Plot: A young actor Vikram Jai Singh (Farhan Akhtar) comes to Mumbai from Delhi to make it big in the movie industry. He has a couple of friends with whom he hangs around. Sona Mishra (Konkona Sen Sharma) is the neighbour of one of his friends. She is also a struggling actress who is waiting for her big break. They both bump into each other by chance and a friendship grows. On the other hand we have Romy Walia (Rishi Kapoor) who is a producer of some considerable repute in Bollywood and Zaffar Khan (Hrithik Roshan) who is a big Bollywood star who was launched by Romy. Romy is married to Minti (Juhi). Zaffar walks out of one of Romy's movies which was also a launchpad for Nikki Walia (Isha Sharvani) who is the daughter of Nina Walia (Dimple Kapadia) who was once a Bollywood super heroine herself. Due to a series of freak chances our Vikram Jai Singh lands in the role vacated by Zaffar. This obviously puts a strain on Vikram-Sona relationship (who still is a struggling actress by the way). Well Vikram plays Nina and Nikki both and ends up a superstar. The movie is all about these characters and their lives and how one shit leads to another shit and so on.

My Psychobabble: For a change let me start with the two good things in the movie. They are Juhi Chawla and Rishi Kapoor. Juhi is freaking awesome! She looked gorgeous, her body language perfect to the part she played and her accent and dialogue delivery was like watching a virtuoso at the peak of her performance. And Rishi Kapoor was amazing! Kya laga hai yaar banda wo producer get up main. His lose ill fitting shirt, his glamorous bling bling accesories, his often crooked eye brow, his pronounciation of "volcano" as "vulcano" and so on was just superb. These two together over shadowed the entire star cast of the movie.

Beyond them the movie is just another average mildly amusing run of the mill Bollywood movie. Matlab itni buri nahin hai but then again there is nothing spectacular or great about it. At times it appears to be dragging its feet like a completely pissed and bored child in his school assembly while at other times it looks only as alive as Inzamam-ul-haq on the running end of the wicket. Direction is OK as is the screenplay and editing. The movie often appears disjointed in its own story line if not completely broken. Best analogy would be to compare it to a handsome man who has just had a head on collision with a car. Mara nahin hai, zinda hai and you can make out that he probably looks good but his bones are dislocated and broken in places.

Tangent: Fock that was a new literary low even for me. This Xbox 360 is secretly draining out my literary powers I am sure. Grrrrr!

As for the actors. Farhan Akhtar is a write off. He looks marginally good, has a passible phsyique has voice that is permanently affected by a chronic cold and his dialogue delivery is only as exciting as watching paint dry. He has this drone of a voice which doesn't vary a fraction of an octave during his acting. No matter if he is excited, angry, pissed, sad, turned on (highly unlikely opposite Koko) he just spits out his words using the same continuous even pitch. For all I matter a ticking grandfather pendulum clock could be doing his voice over instead of him.

Konkona Sen Sharma (Koko) is a good actress. She has played good parts in her earlier movies but somehow her casting as this struggling actress in main stream commercial bollywood is not probably the best choice the casting director made.

Hrithik is but of course a marvellous actor but this time somehow wasn't on his best. But then he is Hrithik! As an actor he would out perform the best of the best on his bad day! As a hunk, well glance around and the honey eyed females in the hall speak loud enough through their lecherous stares about him ;)

Tangent: Don't freaking ask why I glance around or how can I see their expressions in the dark. Stick to the review for heaven's sake!

Isha Sharvani (Niki Walia) is a promising actress. Ab uski figure se nazar hata pata to shayad kucch review likhta but for you male members of this homo sapien species, she is a perfect eye candy (with clothes to match wink wink). And of course has acted well too (ahem). Dimple Kapadia is good. She is of course a matured actress who knows the tricks of the trade but somehow she hasn't come across as spectacularly as either Juhi or Rishi. This reminds me, there was a particular sequence where Rishi and Dimple are sitting on a couch discussing the movie they are about to make. The camera zooms into the shot from afar and you see only them together on the couch. A pounchy, curly hair Rishi Kapoor and a seemingly aged and slightly heavy Dimple Kapadia were a far cry from their raunchy and saucy performances in their youth. It was so amusing watching them together like this and thinking back on their "hum tum ek kamre main band ho" days. Sigh!

Verdict: Not a great movie but not a complete bore as well. Things could have been better but then again they could have been worse too. I would recommend watching it once but don't make any special arrangements or change your plans to fit this movie in your busy schedule. Not worth it.

Title: Hello

Vital Stats:
Director: Atul Agnihotri

Starring: Salman Khan (Plays no part at all), Katina Kaif (same as Salman), Sharman Joshi, Sohail Khan, Arbaaz Khan, Amrita Arora, Gul Panag, Dalip Tahil, Isha Koppikhar (yup there is "h" in her name), Suresh Menon, Sharat Saxena.


Plot: Based on Chetan Bhagat's novel "A night @ the call center" this movie is about a night in the life of 6 people who work in the same call center. These are Shyam (Sharman), Varun (Sohail), Millitary Uncle (Sharat), Esha (Isha), Radhika (Amrita) and Priyanka (Gul). Their boss is Bakshi (Dalip Tahil) who runs the call center. Though it becomes a bit confusing towards the end whether he "owns" the center or is simply an employee himself. This is a story about these 7 characters and a special night in thei lives where nothing is going right. Shyam is in love with Priyanka who is now marrying a NRI because she wanted money in her life, Radhika has her own issues so does millitary uncle. Varun loves Esha who is mad after modelling and can not enter a commitment because of her passion. This one night brings a lot of chaos in their lives that leave them all changed people by the morning. Cant reveal too much about the changes else I would have to include spoilers!


My Psychobabble: This movie has so much to owe to Drona. Had I not seen Drona last weekend I would have probably brought out the big guns and would have shot this to pieces. But since my experience with Drona (that I survived, Oh yeah!) I am now more tolerant to the limits to which the directors can really lose their mind without being locked up in a mental asylum or shot by execution squad or boiled in hot oil for making us suffer the torture of the farce that they called movie etc. etc.

So then how is the movie really? Let us put it this way it is tolerable if you are suffering one of those evenings when everything is going wrong and basically you don’t give shite. The movie alternates between insanely boring to simply insane to mildly interesting. The characters are mediocre, the script week, direction poor, situations unreal and the whole appeal a big fat zero. My biggest problem is with the script and the direction both of which were horrible.

That being said, Sharman Joshi still comes out tops and very surprisingly I saw Sohail Khan act and I did not get the urge to slap him right across the face! Sohail Khan by his previous standards was amazing and actually managed to get some expressions on his face that didn’t include twisting his face into weird shapes. Sharman Joshi as I have already said was fantastic. I especially loved the way he played his alter ego, a small red devil that pops up during the movie and instigates him to tap the phone of the girl he loves. Man that character was awesome! If nothing else I would say that that small part by Sharman Joshi as his alter ego was worth watching the whole movie.


All the other characters are completely and absolutely wasted with special emphasis on Dalip Tahil. It is OK to portray a character that is madly in love with U.S. and would do anything to get there but to make him do all the idiotic things that Dalip’s character does is frankly disgusting. And seriously who ever came up with Amrita Arora’s character? Whoever that was, one small advise, dude get off the Star Parivar news channel and Ekta Kapoor stuff and get a life!

Verdict: I haven’t read the original novel but my experience tells me that novels usually aren’t anything like the movies are. If you loved the novel then by all means go and watch this one as the movie is not very bad. It is just not very well directed. If you miss this one though trust me you wouldn’t have missed anything minutely significant.

Title: Drona
Vital Stats:
Director: A real lousy one...lol! Actually Goldie Bahel
Starring: Abhishek Bacchan, Priyanka Chopra, Kay Kay Mennon, Jaya Bacchan

Plot: According to Indian mythology there was a time when Demigods (Devtas) and Devil's disciples (Asuras) combined their effort to churn the biggest ocean in the universe for they wanted to reap the myriad treasures and magical that were burried deep within the ocean. Amongst the many such magical things that came out there was one item that was the most coveted. This was "Amrut" or the elixir of immortality. Whosoever took one sip would become immortal and would never perish. Feared that if Asuras laid their hands on this elixir they would wreak havoc, the Devtas resorted to all kinds of trickery to hide this elixir. This movie claims that amongst such measures was appointing a human warrior to protect the elixir which was promptly hidden by Devtas. This warrior was given superhuman powers and physical strenght to be able to carry out his duties. This warrior was called "Drona". Throughout ages and generations this warrior and his offsprings (all of them became "Dronas") have played their part in keeping the location of this elixir secret and hidden from pursuing Asuras. One such Asura by the name of Riz Riazada has been after this elixir ever since it was found and still is lurking on the earth in human form to obtain this elixir. Long story short, Abhishek Bacchan is Drona (though he doesnt know it himself) and Riz Riazada can only reach Amruta if he can get its secret location from Abhishek (who again doesnt know it himself). Priyanka Chopra is basically a waste of movie reel space.



My Psychobabble: I don’t really know where to start. Lately none of the movies that I saw seem interesting. They all almost bored me to death. And so after watching Taken I thought to myself that maybe I ought to bring the bar down. So for Drona I did. I brought the bar down before I went in the cinema. Half hour in the movie, I placed the bar on the ground. Another half hour and I jumped on the bar, buried it in the ground six feet deep. Another 15 minutes, the bar penetrated the core of the earth came out the other side and floated gloriously away into the unknown depths of the universe.

Behold the contribution of Goldie Bahel to Indian cinema. Ladies and gents he has given Bollywood a new standard of “low”!

There are so many serious judgmental errors that I would be writing a complete series of Brittannicca encyclopedias were I to go into details. But to bring home my point that the movie is completely, uttely, absolutely, totally and truly “rubbish”, here are a few

1. The movie is set in a Hindu mythology setting of Devils (Asuras), Demigods (Devtas), holy men (rishi muni) and ancient secrets written in Sanskrit. But here we have an old as time Asura (devil reincarnate) living on this planet who speaks nothing but Urdu!

2. Dialogues make no sense at all. Totally and utterly. For all you care the characters might recite ABCD, 01234, do re….rather than talk to each other.

3. Abhishek Bacchan’s attire was again as old as time and was supposedly given to the first Drona by Devtas themselves. Yet the dress includes stylish leather boots that have zippers on them to put them on.

4. The first fight scene featuring Priyanka Chopra..what the fock was that contraption she used, who the fock designed it and how the fock can that do anything else other than serve as a stupid trinket to compel monkeys to dance.

5. At this point the bar was out into the Universe

The movie is totally horribly wrong. The director himself was confused whether scenes were supposed to introduce thrill or humor so he basically tried to put both in and left it upon the audience to either be amused or get thrilled. The movie steals the best sequences from Hollywood hits like the Mummy, Scorpion King, Harry Potter etc and gives them a distinctively visible “Bollywood movie for the kid” feel thus rendering them horribly wrong for the majority of the audience. Abhishek's supposedly fierce warrior stances look more like positions in Bhangra dance while Priyank Chopra is as graceful with her action sequences as my 70 year old granny doing Thriller dance on top of a moving train.


Verdict: If you do go to watch this movie make sure you are not carrying any such thing that you can use to harm yourself for trust me you would feel like killing yourself during the course of the movie. Kids would love it though and if you are one of them parents whose sorry posterior would be dragged by their kids anyways then basically all I can say is cheer up! at least your kids didnt force you to suffer RGV's Aag!

What a weekend! I saw two movies back to back this Saturday after a real long time. I honestly can not remember the last time I did something like this! The first one was Singh is King (review coming shortly) and the second one was this. In fact the Singh is King ended at 4:45 and this one started at 4:40. We jumped straight out of Singh is king and dashed straight into the auditorium showing Bachna Ae Haseeno(BAH from now on) and man was this movie worth it! But obviously my psychobabble would come in its relevant section. One small thing I would like to mention here - from this review onwards I am along with the review I shall also upload the music of the movie for you to download. I am working on a separate section on my blog which would let you download stuff easily but until that gets done I shall post the link for the music files right in the middle of the review. For this one however here is the link to download music. Click here

That said, let us roll...

Vital Stats:

Title: Bachna Ae Haseeno (BAH)

Director: Siddharth Raj Anand

Length: 162 minutes
Starring: Me (LOL! my lady love swears that Ranbir Kapoor's character is completely me :D)

Seriously

Ranbir Kapoor, Minnisha (Not Manisha) Lamba, Bipasha Yumm Basu, Dipika ConicalFeet (Padukone), Hiten Pental (Pental Jr).

Plot: The story revolves around Raj (Ranbir Kapoor). And yes they indeed called the character Raj and what's more, Raj is really thankful to his mother for giving him this name as it makes his task of getting girls to fall in love with him much easier courtsey Shah Rukh Khan and DDLJ(If you don't know what this means, die now). Raj is a perfect playboy, a max chilled out boy who is doing well in his career (employed by Microsoft he is in their gaming division), who looks fab and who knows how to get a girl to dance to his tunes in this utterly cute chocolate boy devilish kinda way. His best friend is Sachin (Pantel Jr.) who endorses Raj's philosophy about life and girls and career etc. Raj goes about breaking hearts in the first half of the movie from Switzerland (Minnisha Lamba as Mahi) to Mumbai (Bipasha Basu as Radhika) until fate takes him to Sydney where he chances upon Gayatri (Deepika). As fate would have it he falls heads over heels over Deepika who dishes his dish to himself. She leads him on but brutally turns him down when he proposes wedding to her. This makes our Hero realize how much pain and anguish he caused Mahi and Radhika when he broke their hearts. He is now a changed man. The protagonist must now travel from Sydney to Amritsar and to Mumbai to seek repentance and suffer any pertinence that he so deserves for his past actions.

My Psychobabble: Ranbir Kapoor ROCKS! Have no doubts my readers here is one young dashing ultimate killer boy who has not only recovered fantastically from the disaster that was Sanwariya but has left no bloody stone unturned in his quest for excellence. He looked amazingly handsome in a very young cute boy kind of a way and has delivered a character performance that is second only in comparison to the commercial industry maestros. He has completely gelled into his character and has played the part beautifully. What made me wonder however was what made him unbutton his shirt so much in the movie!? I mean throughout the first half, barely would be a sequence where Raj's torso was not on display.

The movie is quiet well done. For quiet some part it does look like a DDLJ rip off but then unlike some recent directors who would go to any length to claim their movie is not based on any Hollywood movie whatsoever (kudos on making such humans God, tussi sachchi great ho!) our Raj here actually thinks out aloud about DDLJ and makes sure he does all that the Raj in that movie did to get his girls. After all the character of that Raj was and still is a screen legend! What's even better is that all DDLJ rip offs are so amazingly done that they actually make you feel good about ripping off a movie! The movie maintains a decent pace in the first half and though it does seem to drag in the second half still it rarely ever gets boring. One piece of advise however I have for director - two songs back to back - Nada. Not good! Na nope never and no not even if one of them features Yumm Basu.

Nope.

Never.

Nada.

That was one big flaw in the movie, these two songs that almost come back to back. They hit you when the movie has just begun slowing down and when you are beginning to realize that uh oh Raj got screwed big time man, the funs gone! They together with about 10 more minutes until the third song really kill your interest for a while.

Bipasha Basu (Sigh!) has looked her usual Yumm self. Lets admit it, the lady aint no great actor but then when you look like that who gives two hoot about if your eye brow was arched one degree too little while you frowned or not. Trust me, I for once ain't looking at your eye brow babe ;). And I know I aint alone here. Whenever you see the movie, watch out for the scene where Raj meets her for the first time. Take Raj out and put any straight man in the scene. Nothing would change, nothing at all! That was perhaps my favorite sequence in the whole movie. She has played her part good. To be honest her character in the second half of the movie did seem like a rip off from Devil Wears Prada but then even if it was who cares! John you lucky dog!! Gym here I come.

To Deepika Padukone - Babe come out of Om Shanti Om now please. You aint no red carpet dominating diva or a super star or some princess of Timbaktu or something so please stop behaving like one. I am not sure if it is just me or do others can also sense this fake regal aura that she tries to put all around her even if she is playing a character that drives taxi and works in a super store. Her portrayal of Gayatri was way way off the mark. Besides I am not sure whose stupidity was it, the director or the designer but what girl can drive a taxi for a living the whole night long wearing 6 inch heels!

Hiten Pental has delivered a good performance. I wont call it extraordinary simply for the fact that his character was played a bit down in the movie in comparison to Ranbir's (which is of course obvious). But whatever little time he gets on the screen he makes his mark. I especially recommend one particualr scene when he is shown talking to Raj in men's toilet (what you want me to call it a rest room now? Seriously, do you go there to rest!? Gross!) advising him on a certain situation with Bips. His expressions as he delivers his dialogue were priceless! Kudos man good going.

Minnisha...urmmm what do I say. She has done good no doubt but not as amazingly good as the others. By the way whoever made her wear those salwar in the first half..dude sorry but that really was bad designer sense there.

Verdict: Not to be missed. I don't care what the critics are saying about this one (I ain't a critic if you are wondering by the way, I am an "apperciat-or") I would definitely recommend catching this one. In fact I am already planning to see this again very soon!

Please click one of the stars below the post to give your rating to the movie.

Describe the movie in one word : SleazyYetFun

Vital Stats:

Title: MERE BAAP PEHLE AAP
Director: Priyadarshan

Starring: Akshay Khanna, Paresh Rawal, Genelia D’souza, Shobhana, Rajpal Yadav

Length: 165min

My Psychobabble: If you have been reading my reviews for a while (if you did nod your head then you so rock and I am so thankful to you and maybe I will include you in my will) you would know that I am the kind of person who would always find out something or the other to say about anything. I mean I am one of those criticizing jacka$$es whom just won’t shut up.

And I know that.

But this time I just don’t know what to say. This movie is so spot on its name. Cheap, crass, rude, borderline sleazy and yet funny. Some scenes and situations in the movie do pack a few good punches while most of the others are insanely stupid. Of course having seasoned actors like Paresh Rawal and Om Puri help big time but then they are neither the SRKs, Akshay Kumar’s of Bollywood who can pull a complete movie on their own nor are they the Mallika’s and Rakhi’s of our fraternity who can pull crowds. But then bundle them together in a pot, add some good looking garnishing to it, light a moderately sleazy fire underneath, give it a few stirs and you would have a mildly amusing concoction bubbling back and forth in the pot. Give it a ridiculously stupid name and you might be able to pass it around which is what this movie tries to do.

One thing however was not clear to me. Why in the name of God did all the actors just keep shouting!? Trust me the moment the movie begins to the very moment it ends, everyone (and especially Akshay Khanna) just keeps yelling at the bloody top of their voices. It seems the script writer of the movie wanted to get the perfect blockbuster formula and ended up mixing an “angry young man” typed character with a “Akshay Kumar brand” humorous character. The mix my dear readers is not good, not good at all. At times I felt like getting up and giving a tight one across AK’s face and yell myself “for the freaking love of some God, SHUT THE F**K UP YOU IMBICILE!!!”

There are so many obvious flaws in the movie. For instance AK keeps on getting calls from this mysterious girl who is driving him mad. He is desperate to seek her out. He keeps yelling and shouting on the phone and towards the middle of the movie he does get seriously constipated with tension and anger. Yet he makes no attempt to use features like Caller Line Identification of modern day phones. And finally when the girl does send him a letter (and there is a sender’s address on that letter) AK promptly beckons his minion (Rajpal Yadav), learns some real bad swear words from him, writes them down in a letter and gives the letter to Yadav to deliver. Now one would think that after all the weeks of misery and anticipation, AK would have dashed himself to the sender’s address but no sir, not for this young man. I have my doubts that probably as soon as he sends Yadav away maybe he dashes to the lavatory to you know release the pent up tensions of the past days (ahem!).

Om Puri’s character is completely useless and probably the cheapest in the movie. But then Om Puri has played it with such a flourish that you do actually laugh at some ridiculous moments of his character. One advise to the director of the movie though – please for heaven’s sake and the sake of all humans alive, please never ever ever again shoot a sequence where Puri is topless. It was gross! He is a brilliant actor but is a middle aged average Indian male with a perfect pot belly and ultra ugly sagging man boobs. It was a nightmare having to survive that scene that seemingly stretched into infinity!

Paresh Rawal is as always a genius. This is one actor who knows acting. Cast him as an evil villain in a movie or a confused pakka maraathi or a cowering father, he can play the role as if it is his first nature. Kudos Rawal sir, kudos! I am a big fan of your acting and shall always be!

I won’t go into the leading lady of the movie and her character because frankly I think it is not worth it. But for the sake of completeness here is my advise – either learn to act or to strip or get out of Bollywood. It ain’t a place for you lassie.

(Take my advise please!)

Verdict: Besides the obvious flaws like a weak script, poor direction, lose characters, situations and dialogues the movie still is watchable. It is a perfect for one of those lazy summer days when you have absolutely nothing to do, when you feel like a Royal King or Queen in the mood to wave your hand in the air and say “chalta hai yaar”, have just found a rolled up 100 note in your old trouser pocket and are wondering what do I do with it.

Before you read: If you agree with anything at all that I said here, please click one of the stars at the end of the post to give your opinion on this review. I would really appreciate if you could post a comment. If you do leave a comment, I will definitely reply back. To send this to your friends, simply move your mouse over to the "Add this" button that comes at the end of the post along with the stars!

No Preamble. Read on and you will know why. Warning, spoilers in my psychobabble.

Describe the movie in one word: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

Vital stats:

Title: BhootNath

Director: Vivek Sharma

Starring: Amitabh Bachchan, Shahrukh Khan, Juhi Chawla, Satish Shah, Rajpal Yadav, Aman Siddiqui.

Length: 147min

Plot: Shahrukh Khan is a Chief Engineer (whatever that means) aboard a cruising ship. Wherever the ship goes he goes with it (doing whatever a chief engineer does over a ship). He is married to Juhi Chawla who is an ideal bubbly yet decent, funny yet sensible, sexy yet not sleazy kind of a wife and a very yum mum kind of a mother to their son named Aman or as he is affectionately called – Banku.

Shahrukh’s company rents a house for him in Goa (heaven knows why) where he puts up Juhi and their son before leaving for his ship. This house is supposedly, oh hell it is actually haunted by the ghost of its previous occupier – Amitabh Bacchan. Now Mr. Bacchan’s ghost doesn’t like anyone staying in his villa so he tries to scare the family out. For some reason he starts with not the adult Juhi but the kid Banku. Obviously he fails, falls in love with the kid (the paternal kind you sick pervert!) and allows them to stay. Oh heck he teams up with the boy and they have the usual Bollywood movie style fun in the boy’s school etc. etc. Towards the climax you get to know why Mr Bacchan’s apparition didn’t like anyone staying in the villa and what ultimately happens to his ghost or soul or whatever he/she (do ghosts have gender by the way?) is.

My Psychobabble: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!! WTF does this B.R. Chopra (BRC from now on) dude has against the Indian children (I am not talking about Banku’s character in here). If you have seen his previous movie Baghbaan you would know what I am talking about. I mean this guy BRC is like male Ekta Kapoor of the big screen. She casts black shadows of evil on mother in laws and daughter in laws whereas this BRC guy aims his evil splattering gun onto the sons in the family. Marry this BRC and Ekta Kapoor and presto! You have the worst possible traditional Indian family living together under the same roof with bahus torturing saas-es, saas-es torturing bahoos and sons hatching and conjuring up evil schemes to torture their parents sneaking up in their dark corners with evil horns sprouting on their head and a forked tail banging the ground behind them!

This BRC guy always portrays boys who have grown up and are married as direct descendants of Satan whom the Satan unleashed on this world to inflict ultimate super cruel misery onto their parents! Ah fock! I mean what is his focking problem! When his last movie Baghban was released, damn I had had a nightmare watching it with my dad (I lost my mom about 7 years ago to a freak medical incident) who was in constant tears throughout the goddamned movie. By the time the movie ended I was wishing for the floor of my third floor flat (in Delhi then) to give away, for me to fall through it and promptly land on the guy who lived on the second floor (mostly because I didn’t like that bloke and I value my life a bit. I just didn’t want to be in the same room as dad.). When the movie ended, my dad gave me such repulsive looks as if I were the single most ghastly evil untouchable creation of God who hasn’t taken a shower for an eternity and who stank so much that my dad would like nothing more to pick up my cricket bat and beat me to a pulp with it.

And now this Bhoothnath that directly, yup my readers directly hits at the relationship between a son and his father and that too a son who leaves his father and his sick dying mother to go abroad and then turns into this evil money minded gold digger! What’s even more he marries a perfect “I speak Hindi with Amrikan accent” Amrikan kudi who in the evil deptt. is the mother load of Satan himself, doesn’t give too hoot for the traditional Indian Bahoo culture and couldn’t care less about her father in law.

Oh man my life is ruined. The moment my dad watches this movie I am so disowned, disavowed, disbarred and generally dissed. Damn I would be the topic of so many conversations between my dad and his brothers and sisters and their families with each conversation starting something like – “hai hai wo to chala gaya sab chodhke, hai hai! Ab aapka kya hoga hai hai! Bhagwaan ko ye din bhi dikhaane the hai hai! Appne kya karam kare the jo aapke saath is umar main aisa hua. Hai hai, hai hai!”

Yes I know I went on a tangent and fock me but I don’t care! I hate this BRC guy, his production house, his mentality, his movies, his basic general approach to life and am thoroughly disgusted with his parents who decided to mate and produce him! Did he forget that he too was a son at some point in his life and was not really grown on a mango tree, that his parents probably had ambitions from him too!

Saala is BRC ki to “£$*%*(£$^*£$(%”)(“)£()”£$)”£$%(£*^$(DFIKGJKT$%^*(*!!!!

The movie was good for the first half. It was almost kiddish really but good fun. Mr. Bacchan’s character and the character Banku do have some innocent fun which is amusing and interesting at times. Juhi Chawla looked superbly ravishing and as usually has completely gelled into her character with utmost ease. She does such an effortless acting really; I mean it is absolutely brilliant on her part. Rajpal Yadav’s character is stupid with no sense whatsoever. His talent has been completely wasted in the movie. Satish Shah gives some much needed humorous moments during the movie which would surely crack you up.

Verdict: Watch the movie if you must but when the movie begins a slow drive to hell by divulging Mr Nath’s past life, make a run for the exit. If you live abroad then don’t, I repeat don’t talk to you parents for at least a weak if you come to know that they have seen this movie. I would have considered this movie good had it not been for that sickening last one hour of the movie which is actually quiet boring never mind my personal grudges.

I am still sticking to my oath of impartial reviews and still advising you to go watch the movie despite personally hating its last one hour. If you ask for my personal opinion then I suggest all the Indian sons should drink hell loads of beer and I seriously mean hell spattering heaven shattering “collectively embarrassing all Germans and British and Americans” kinds freaking loads of beer and make a beeline for this BRC’s house. Nothing would give me more pleasure than to pay my drunken bladder bursting tribute onto the walls of his house.

“Hai hai”