Tashan

Watched this over the last weekend and trust me as much as I wanted to do this review as soon as I was out the cinema I have had one helluva crazy week at my job. Had no bandwidth whatsoever to be able to do anything other than my blasted work! Every day I spend at this job, everyday my belief in Oscar Wilde’s saying (Refer: http://achingpen.blogspot.com/2008/04/slave.html) strengthens.

Anyhows holding myself firmly in check lest I should shoot of on a completely different tangent moaning about a job I so very much wanted, worked hard to get and eventually got but now barely month in which I feel stuck and which makes me wonder everyday why I wanted this in the first place after all, I shall get back to the business in hand (no I don’t mean my beer just in case you know me and were beginning to wonder which come to think of it why would you even if you know me, its not like I am an alcoholic and if you do know me then you would also know that I haven’t drunk any alcohol for a month and not smoked a single smoke in more than that time as well so there is no point really in my mentioning about my beer is it? Oh darn! I shot off another tangent, mayday mayday, someone keep me in check!) and would start with the review of this movie titled – Tashan!

So let’s begin then by summarizing the movie in one word – Tashan!

LOL! I can be so bloody predictable! LOL! No seriously as clichéd as that sounded up there the movie is all about Tashan. Now if you have no ties with India and are scratching your head and those online dictionaries trying to figure out what this word “Tashan” means, here is a small introduction

Tashan: It’s a kind of a vague reference to extreme style. The style could be related to anything, clothes, bling, cars, planes, sex, movies, mercury, venus, earth, mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto, moon, Angelina the yumm Jolie, Jennifer Anniston, my beer, your beer, his beer, her vodka martini………any bloody thing. This word is like the famous “F” word. Use this to justify a temporary or even permanent (like tattoo) proof of insanity or extreme styling. If you are still scratching your head (and maybe trying to pull out your eye balls by now wondering why you read me) imagine this – you get max drunk out in Vegas and get a Mohawk. Then you decide to paint it in vivid shades of red and pink. You wake up next day and your mate asks – dude what the F*** that is! You can easily reply back saying – Tashan dude its my Tashan and everything would be cool.

Wit this small lecture out of the way for the uninitiated, lets get back to the movie! (I hate those tangents, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr).

The vital stats of the movie are as follows

Title: Tashan

Director: Vijay Krishna

Starring: Akshay Kumar, Saif Ali Khan, Kareena Kapoor, Anil Kapoor.

Length: 160 minutes

The Plot: The movie is all about larger than life characters each with his/her unique demeanour or mannerism or way of operating or style or (yup you got it right) – Tashan. The story revolved around 4 main characters Jimmy Cliff, Bachchan Pande, Pooja and Bhaiyyaji. Call centre executive Jimmy Cliff (Saif Ali Khan), gangster Bachchan Pande (Akshay Kumar) and Pooja (Kareena Kapoor), a girl who can't be trusted take a dangerous journey across India.which will alter the course of their lives in more ways than one. In addition to that, there is the evil eye of Bhaiyyaji (Anil Kapoor), a maverick gangster who enjoys killing people as much as he enjoys speaking English which is one of the biggest Tashans of this movie but at times does get very irritating, seriously.

My insane blabber (duh!): Akshay Kumar and Anil Kapoor rock! They are two of the most versatile actors in commercial main stream Bollywood. They are like Vodka, awesome on its own but those who like to mellow things down can take it and mix it with any damn thing else and they would bring out the best of the mix. The movie overall is enjoyable provided you buy two tickets again, one for you and one for your brain (even I can’t believe I am using the same joke again, trust me) because you wont need it. In fact don’t try to use it much else you would only end up spoiling the fun. The movie does a good job of keeping you entertained. Anil Kapoor has played his part marvellously however his English does become tiring after one point. The director should have seriously cut back on it. I mean even vodka if taken in beyond a certain limit can leave you nauseated and hung over! A noticeably slimmer Akshay Kumar has truly lived his part. He has very easily blended into his character of that typical bhaiyya from Kanpur. Saif and Kareena are their usual bunch with Kareena a bit disappointing. Action scenes in the movie are seriously stupid and are totally unbelievable but then hey! There is nothing in the world that can not be justified by saying ‘Tashan!” (oh no! not that you damn pervert! Jeez! I am talking about psychologically normal things here you moron!). The climax is seriously trash and overly long. In fact I would say that the climax is probably the worst part of the entire movie. I was quiet disappointed by the way it ended but hey you cant have everything in life right unless you are the Ambanis or Bill Gates or Steve Jacobs or Tatas or Birlas or Murthys or Clintons (oh fock, this is turning depressing now) or Bushes (LOL! included him just for the heck of it really).

Saif, Akshay and Kareen in Tashan

Verdict: So do go and watch this movie but don’t go with high expectations. Be prepared for asome irritating scenes involving both Akshay Kumar and Anil Kapoor and be completely prepared to not analyze any scene involving gun shots or else you would be seriously disappointed. If you go with a positive mind set trust me you would seriously end up enjoying the show! When all hell (and a very stupid and idiotic hell) breaks lose at the end, don’t stand up to leave. Remember you have paid the admission price (which is exorbitant these days by the way) and have gone through the entire movie now. No point leaving when it is almost over!