Please click one of the stars at the end of the review to rate the movie and not the review! If you have not seen the movie yet then please do come back once you have seen it and rate the movie then!

What a weekend! Had to clean and scrub the refrigerator and then had a nasty incident where a lot of hot wax was spilled on the bloody carpet! Oh man if I knew I could scrub and scratch so well I would have become a Bollywood director and direct movies like De Taali etc. But anyways my boring life aside lets get to the movie review

Describe the movie in one word : Rubbish

Vital Stats:

Title: De Taali
Director: E Nivas
Starring: Aftab Shivdasani, Ayesha Takia, Ritesh Deshmukh, Rimi Sen, Anupam Kher
Length: 156min

Plot: The movie is about three friends Amu (Ayesha), Abhi (Aftab) and Paglu (Ritesh). They have been the best of chums since childhood and have grown up together. Abhi is the son of business tycoon Anupam Kher and hence is loaded. Amu and Paglu we know nothing about. For all we are concerned they could have sprouted on the same mango tree that I mentioned in one of my earlier reviews. Abhi is a miserable loser in love and has had 31 prior girl friends (including a psychic Neha Dhupia who can talk to dead people and hence my using the word loser). He meets and falls for Kartika (Rim Sen) just as Amu and Paglu come to this "logical conclusion" that Amu actually loves Abhi. Well it turns out Rimi is a gold digger and now commences the eventual battle between the gold digger vamp and the "loyal broker loser miserable bacchpan ke langotiya yaar" to save the prince charming. The movie is all about this battle.


My Psychobabble: Rubbish, Bull's feces and crap! I mean when I walked into the cinema I wasn't expecting a masterpiece. In fact I was kind of looking forward to another cousin in the same family tree of movies like "Krazzy 4" and "One Two Three" etc. and I am glad I wasn't dissappointed on this front at least. Aftab Shivdesani has looked exactly like his character in the movie – absolutely filthy, stupid, ridiculous and idiotic. His is probably the most wasted part in the movie (unless you count the total 10 minute appearance by Neha Dhupia) and so are his looks. The only time he is tolerable is when he is not on the screen. Ritesh has been the saving grace of the movie. Yes he is not a terrific actor and his character in the movie is a bit off as well but at least the way he acts keeps you slightly amused and remotely interested in the movie. Ayesha Takia….oh well what do I say here! Her presence literally “fills up the screen” *wink wink* but other than that there is no substance to her acting, her looks or her character. Rim Sen has been the “Oh My Freakin God” of the movie. I don’t know if it is the camera angle or the seat I was sitting at but Rimi Sen my dear readers has appeared HUGE (and no, no winks this time I mean the whole of her). Her face looks gigantic, her shoulders could easily match those of Arny and the frame of her body made her look like the Goliath in the movie. At times I was expecting the movie to turn into the “Gulliver Travels” with Rimi Sen picking up Ayesha and Ritesh in her palm, bringing them close to her eyes and giving a nasty, evil, resounding boom of laughter!


The characters and their portrayal apart, the direction SUX! Many situations and scenes in the movie make no sense whatsoever. I mean even if you were Einstein you couldn’t have figured out what the director is trying to show you. By the way if you were Einstein you would have figured out the movie is trash and wouldn’t waste your time on it anyway. But sadly you are not and more sadly you are here suffering my psychobabble. But trust me once you have been to the movie (if you go that is) and have seen Neha Dhupia and her psychic stuff, you would happily come back to my blog!

The script could have been good but it was thoroughly messed up and I do mean thoroughly. Probably Mr. Nivas took charge of script editing of the movie as well. The cinematography was average however a couple of songs in the movie were good.

Verdict: If I were to chose between Indiana Jones and this one, I would chose this but given an option to either watch this or lazy around in my couch, I would chose the couch! Try and not waste your time on this one. Ain’t worth it.Technorati Tags: bollywood, movie reviews, movie

Please click one of the stars at the end of the review to rate the movie and not the review! If you have not seen the movie yet then please do come back once you have seen it and rate the movie then!


Times can change a man.

Oh yes they do. Had it not been this blog of mine and my solemn pledge (that I took over a pint of excellent beer) to write honest movie reviews, I would have never ever gone out and bought a ticket for this one.

Oh yes time can really change a man.

Anyways I shall limit my psychobabble to the appropriate section and carry on with this review then.

Describe the movie in one word – Sexist (duh, as if you were expecting something else!)

Vital stats:

Title: Sex And The City: The Movie

Director: Michael Patrick King

Length: 140min

Starring: Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis, Cynthia Nixon, Chris Noth, Candice Bergen Jennifer Hudson , David Eigenberg .

Plot: There is nothing much to the plot really. This is about four women (girls? Nahh!) of a “certain” age who are figuring out that life is not really a fairy tale that they grew up dreaming of. This is real world, it is harsh, rude, and dirty, it bites and yet life can be beautiful. Movie revolves around their lives, marriage, split ups, make ups etc. etc.

My Psychobabble: I would have loved to put the plot as a “saga of a beautiful journey of their togetherness, their special bond that is their friendship and their discoveries of the beauties of the world”, had it not been for their constant bitching and moaning and the extreme vanity flaunted so shamelessly in the movie. And this kind of leads me to this dilemma. When I pointed the extreme vanity, the extreme “die for a designer label” culture, the “life is perfect if you have a Louis Vutton” bag aspects of this “girlie” movie, I was instantly branded as a MCP or a sexist or you know belonging to many of other such species that are some kind of a cross between a human and some dirty animal. But when I hear girls discuss the exact same things as “all a part of being a girl” while they are nibbling over their fat free, carb free, gluten free, nut free, protein rich, vitamin sufficient, eco friendly, cat friendly, dog unfriendly candy bars, I seriously feel like yelling at the top of my voice – “but this is exactly what I was saying!!!!”.

Oh whatever!


To be honest I might have been remotely interested in the movie had it not been for the constant and I do mean constant loud shrieks of “awwwwwwwwwws!” and “oh noooooooo” and “you bastard!” from my next seat gay couple. I am not against gays really, I mean all the individual preference and “God made us all different” crap aside, honestly I am not against them or the idea at all. But there is a limit to it and that is crossed when a bald guy with a complete “Harley Davidson” biker beard and moustache and body to match the description, decides to make these noises while watching the movie and at one point actually leans and kisses his partner full on the mouth.
Yuccckkkkkkkkk!

To all my fellow dudes who would be dragged to watch this movie (either by their better halves or their compulsion to write some sort of review), I am putting together this “survival kit” for you to survive this movie.

1. Wear really bright clothes but carry a real black overall: Use the overall when you are standing in the queue for the movie (oh yes there are queues for this one!) to hide yourself from any such passer by who might chance to know you. But once inside the hall take of the overall and make sure you are prominently on the display. This movie would take the members of the fairer sex on an emotional roller coaster and dude you have some serious chance of scoring, so dress up!

2. Carry a real gadget of a phone with you and make sure it is loaded with ultra cool games. Well the movie isn’t a short one and you do need something to pass the time. Perfect for you to beat that last record of yours in that game.

3. Take out menus: Carry a bunch of take away menus from your favourite joints and try to remember the name of the dishes and the prices. Think about what all you can order as soon as you get out of the theatre! A word of warning, don’t try and order while still in the hall or else you are in some serious trouble.

4. If all else fails, wear a trouser with deep pockets so you know you can ahem play *wink wink* but be very careful lest you should be caught by someone like my next seat neighbour. Oh boy, even the thought of it sends shivers down my spine. Brrr!

PS: if you don’t listen to my warning and still try and call the take away joints while you are on the seat (trust me the compulsion and shear helplessness of your situation might want to make you end your life then and there) and you do get ssshhhh-ed by the ladies around you (or the gay couples, yup they are there too and in BIG numbers) then promptly tell them that you write movie reviews and you are going to give this one a 5 star rating. That should save your life really.

Verdict: This movie is a clichéd chick flick. Girls you would really enjoy this one while guys would need at least one item from my survivor list to go through this one for sure. Watch it if you must but if you can manage to steer away, do exactly that.